A woman who was sexually assaulted and raped by her partner has bravely spoken out to “warn other women” after she endured horrific domestic abuse. Her ex-partner, Daniel Wide, 33, was sentenced to 10 years behind bars and an given an extended period of five years on licence on release, after he pleaded guilty to rape and sexual assault by penetration on April 8.
The victim terrifyingly revealed how Wide would tell her she had “invisible handcuffs” on and that he viewed her as a slave. His former partner said she was “forcing myself to learn to love myself and to be happy and present” again after her horror ordeal. The victim shared that Wide was a misogynist and his hatred for women even extended to the female officers on his case who he “despised”, as he would “mock them”.
His ex-partner revealed telling the police about Wide’s domestic violence saved her life, according to WalesOnline. The woman, from Cardiff, said she became involved with Wide around seven years ago, having vaguely known him through mutual friends beforehand. She said a chance meeting marked the beginning of her life-changing horror story.
She said: “A family member fell outside my house and Dan happened to be walking past. I hadn’t seen him for years. He came over and he picked them up and seemed really nice. A couple of days later I was in town catching a bus home and I called ‘Dan’, and that was it. He sat next to me on the bus on the way home. We started seeing each other from then on.”
At the time, the woman said she was in a “bad place mentally” and said Wide took advantage of that. She added: “He made out he was helping me with that at the beginning. I was so vulnerable and he could sense it. He said as soon as he saw me, he knew how kind I was. He was later upfront about the fact he would fake cry to pretend to understand my pain.”
The victim added: “It took only a few days for the more sinister signs to show, but by that point I was already involved with him and I felt like I needed him because of my vulnerability at that time – and I really believed in that.”
She even shared that she knew she was in a “really, really bad situation” when he demanded she take drugs and the victim said she felt as though there was no escape other than giving into his pleas. The ex said: “He then got me into taking cocaine and he made it feel like it was normal. For me it was escapism from him because I knew there was no way out at that point.”
The victim explained how difficult it was for her to get out of her horror ordeal, saying: “But I didn’t have anywhere near the amount of strength I needed to get out of it.
“He did bizarre things. On one occasion I was asleep in my flat and he used my phone to video himself slapping and stroking my face. I wouldn’t even be able to tell you why he did that. But he would put his mask back on and make out that it was nothing, and then I would feel like the crazy one.”
The woman said eventually she found a way to leave Wide however, several years later he began turning up at her house, and she said: “I wouldn’t react to him in the ways he wanted me to – I had zero tolerance by that point.
“He didn’t like this. He would call me crazy and so I decided to record him. At first I didn’t do this to give evidence to the police. I did this to reassure myself that I wasn’t going crazy.”
She explained how, as a direct result of Wide’s abuse, she had been left with a particularly severe form of post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and said: “When these things happened my body was under so much distress that in a way it died – it was like disassociation.”
The ex-partner called the police in July, 2023, after he friend encouraged her to do so. Wide, of Llanishen, Cardiff, was arrested on July 4, 2023. Initially he entered not guilty pleas but later admitted to his charges.
For confidential support, call the 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Freephone Helpline on 0808 2000 247 or visit womensaid.co.uk . If you or your family have lost a friend or family member through fatal domestic abuse, AAFDA (Advocacy After Fatal Domestic Abuse) can offer specialist and expert support and advocacy. For more info visit ** www.aafda.org.uk**
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